Peter Fallow, Episode II: A New Hope

I have finally managed to rouse myself from my latest poisonous hangover, and I have had what people in that dark place call a Moment of Clarity.

I shall now endeavor to be the anti-Romenesko.

I'll try to link to commentary that would never appear on Poynter's Web site. And I think you know what kind of commentary that is

True, I won't be making $152,000 a year. But I'll muddle through somehow.

Or not. Right now, just typing these words have made me tired.

But we'll see what happens...

First post in a long time!!!

Yes, I've been busy on an investigative mission. I can't say what it's about, but it involved documents proving President Bush was AWOL from the Territorial Army during Gulf War I.

Anyway, I just wanted to point what readers might still be out there to the letter I sent to The Guardian in support of Operation Guardian:

Dear sir or madam: Please write stories on the toothless ignorance and deep-seated fascism to be found in places such as Clark County, USA. Then forward that to the people you are targeting in Clark County, USA.

They need to be taught a lesson about who they really are before we recruit them to vote against the gangster Bush.

It doesn't matter how many corners have to be cut in this reporting. There's a larger truth here.

All the best!

Your colleague in British-style journalism,
Peter Fallow, The City Light

Don't worry. Once they see it's from me, they'll know what to do. It'll be good to be back in contact with so many dear old friends!

Apologies excepted

This recent trend of newspapers issuing apologies for past sins is actually an unrecognized gold mine for the industry.

We could get the advertising department involved! Print a weekly "special insert" with a rundown of past sins. One week, the theme could be something like "we used the word 'Negro' repeatedly in headlines from 1880-1965. We are sorry about that." The next week, it could be something like "this paper editorialized strongly against giving women the vote. We now know we were wrong."

The possibilities are endless. It could be a bonanza, I tell you!

Wonkette-Washingtonienne update

It's been a while, but there appears to be some movement on the all-important Wonkette-Washingtonienne front. Wonkette is reporting that Jessica Cutler, aka The Washingtonienne, has signed a "six-fucking-figures" book deal. She'll also be appearing in the November issue of Playboy.

Bully for her.

But the most surprising bit of Mrs. Wonkette's post is what we Professional Journalists call "the lede":

If nothing else, this should put to rest the rumor that we cooked up the Washingtonienne thing ourselves ...

I am shocked that someone would insinuate such a thing! Nobody has ever suggested that the Washingtonienne was anything phony like an experiment in "interactive fiction."

And as for the suggestion that Wonkette pushed this story so heavily because she's either stunningly gullible or a well-connected, publicity-seeking blogger, well, you can just take that trash elsewhere.

As Wonkette points out, they're turning Washingtonienne's story into a book, people. They simply don't do that for people who are just making things up.

Blatant editorializing!

After reading this, it's no wonder that USA Today isn't treated with more respect by Professional Journalists.

Clinton's 'sex bracelet'

Wonkette may have to write a clarification for her post on President Clinton's red and blue "sex bracelet."

If, like myself, you are familiar with D.C. sex gossip, you know that is not a sex bracelet, which is something the kids wear. (Though red and blue would seem to have some relevance to Clinton.) It's actually Bill's cock ring. Like most big-schlonged Democrats, he just wears it on his wrist when he's not in "lock-and-load" mode, because it's more comfortable there. Plus, should he ever need it in a hurry, it's well within reach.

The bit about it being knitted by sad little Colombian peasant children was correct, though. Yes, it's a Fair Trade cock ring. Democrats support that sort of thing.

Meet Toby Young

Ladies and gentlemen, I present a journalist after my own heart:

Assigned to profile Nathan Lane, Toby asked the actor "Are you Jewish?" followed by "Are you gay?" At that point Lane's publicist declared the interview over...

Then there was the time Toby cornered Mel Gibson at the Vanity Fair Oscars party the year Gibson swept the Oscars for Braveheart, about the Scottish national hero. Toby wanted to know why Gibson had such a grudge against the English.

Well, I'd certainly like to know the answer to those questions. Good on you for asking, Toby.

Pornography in the newspaper

Predictably, this piece of puerile filth was written by self-described right-wing warmonger Mark Steyn. (See below.) I can't believe they let this bit about Bill Clinton, one of America's best presidents (everybody I know voted for him -- twice!), get into print:

On CBS tonight, Sixty Minutes will be running its in-depth one-hour interview with the former president, in which he reveals that he regards his impeachment as a "badge of honour". "I don't see it as a stain," he says, "it" being the impeachment, not the DNA evidence. "I stood up to it and beat it back."

Clinton and the veteran news anchor Dan Rather are reported to have hugged each other on camera. No word on whether the president also made Dan wear the Monica beret and the little blue cocktail dress, but from the pre-released excerpts it sounds highly likely.

Mr Clinton also expands on the details of his belated confession to Hillary. In Mrs Clinton's version (from last year's unreadable doorstopper autobiography), she says she could "hardly breathe" and was "gulping for air", which sounds more like Monica's problem.

A passage like this is so completely at odds with the British media's usual standards of decorum and good taste, that I am at a loss to respond.

We are not amused...

If this is satire, well, it certainly isn't funny to me.